Finding Your Polarity: Are You Feminine or Masculine?
Before exploring more of what makes the feminine psyche tick and what drives and defines The Satisfied Woman, we must ask the fundamental question:
How do I know which is my primary polarity: the feminine or the masculine?
Your psyche and soul already know which polarity is most dominant within you. Remember, we all have both! But, each of us naturally leans into one more than the other more often, and perhaps most importantly, each of us desires to be known in terms of our primary polarity.
You may (or may not!) be surprised at how often individuals actually force themselves to express the wrong polarity…either because of societal constraints, or a misguided sense of who they “should” be in the world. In either case, this causes the person’s psyche enormous stress. People expressing the wrong polarity feel burned out, overwhelmed, and exhausted. Imagine the effort required for that level of inauthenticity!
The more quickly we get clarity on our primary polarity, the more quickly we unravel the mask we’ve put on in order to show the world our most authentic self. It is, in fact, as Joseph Campbell would say
The privilege of a lifetime to be who you are.
And, if you desire to express the feminine in the most healthy and authentic way possible, let’s get you there quickly because the world — and your soul — needs it.
While we explore myriad ways to express femininity in my book, The Way of the Satisfied Woman, it starts with recognizing who we are at our psychological core, and what our deepest needs are in relationship. Understanding this element is important because our polarity is reflected nowhere more than through our intimate relationships.
An intimate partnership — in any orientation — is most successful between two people in opposing polarities. Asking ourselves this question and getting to know our primary polarity is essential for the work of becoming The Satisfied Woman.
That being said, the only question we need to ask to determine your primary polarity is this:
In intimate relationship, do you prefer to be respected? Or cherished?
It is the answer that comes to you first that is most correct for you. No need to second guess yourself or overly apply logic to the answer. No need to justify the answer that appears quickly. Simply honor the answer that arises. It comes from a soul-level and is the right answer at this time.
If you know you need to be respected, then your primary polarity is masculine.
If your instinct is to be cherished, then your primary polarity is the feminine.
The healthy masculine desires to be respected from a place of love and open-heartedness, not blind acquiescence. The most important element of respect given to the masculine is that it comes from a trusting feminine. She trusts his direction and leadership, and respects his decisions because she knows he is acting in her/their highest good. Every decision he makes, he takes her needs into consideration and does his best to meet them because he cherishes her.
And, the feminine desires to be cherished by an open-hearted, loving masculine who prioritizes her emotions and intuitive needs above his own — even if it makes him uncomfortable or doesn’t feel “logical” to him. He understands that her deep desire for safety and security are what prompt her intuitive insights and emotions and does what he can to cherish them and meet her needs. When the feminine is lovingly cherished, she trusts him and respects his guidance, and she feels safe to share her feelings and desires.
When we find this energetic balance between masculine and feminine, each person is able to fully embrace and settle into their natural polarity. It is in this scenario that we find the healthiest expression of individuals and relationships. Of course, it is not just in relationship that we are able to be fully feminine, satisfied women. It is possible to find outlets in every facet of our life to lean into our feminine traits and tap into our intuitive guidance.
